Note: All characters and venues are totally fictional; any semblance to real persons or places is merely coincidental.
Synopsis:Shanti and Reddy go home to Chennai for a traditional marriage ceremony.
In late January, Reddy told his folks in Chennai that he had met Shanti and liked her. In a separate video chat, Shanti too told her parents that she'd like to marry Reddy. Then they joined together and had video chats with each household. Then everyone discussed the various scheduling issues, and agreed on a date for the wedding that was suitable. Shanti was able to get a break from school for two weeks between semesters and Reddy was able to take 10 days off from work during the same time. Reddy's older brother and Shanti's father went ahead with local preparations; they had video chats with either Shanti or Reddy every weekend to give them updates. Reddy and Shanti made travel arrangements: Shanti would travel first and Reddy would come a few days later and after the wedding they would travel back together. As the marriage date got closer, Shanti convinced Reddy to travel with her to Chennai, and if he couldn't get any more days off from work, return earlier, on his own. Eventually that is what he ended up doing.
The flight from Detroit to Frankfurt was uneventful. Shanti was tired, having run around to buy various little things that she thought her mom and new sister-in-law might like, packing suitcases and checking to make sure she had everything from the "list". She also bought several small gifts for Reddy's household and packed Reddy's suitcase. In the flight, they had an empty seat in their 3-seat row, and Shanti was able to raise the arm-rests and put her head on Reddy's lap for an extended, albeit scrunched up, slumber. She felt safe and cozy with Reddy's hand around her under the airline blanket. They skipped dinner and ate the breakfast before landing at Frankfurt. At the transit, they changed planes, and found themselves with almost a full plane of south indians going home to Chennai. Daytime flight, coupled with talkative people, made the cabin more "lively" than the first flight across the atlantic.
When they arrived in Chennai, it was very close to midnight. It took them a further hour to go through immigration, pick up their luggage, exchange money and walk out. They walked out slowly, Shanti in front, scanning the faces of people who had come to receive. Reddy was in the back pushing the cart with their suitcases. He had not told his family about the change of his plans to arrive early. Shanti had decided it is ok for her brother to take them both home, and no need to rouse two households in the early morning hours of the arrival.
Shanti's brother located her and waved; she went forward to meet him.
Her brother noticed:"you look happy….but where are your bags ?".
She asked him a question in return,"amma, appa…doing well ? …and how is your new wife ?"; and handed him her shoulder bag.
"Appa is in the car …Amma is ok….new wife is good..….you will meet her soon..", her brother answered.
"Car ?" asked Shanti.
"no…no.…just a call taxi", brother corrected himself, and noticed Reddy joining up at his sister's other side.
Shanti explained,"…he is coming with us also….he will stay with us tonight".
Her brother was confused; he asked,"who is the saar ?".
Shanti laughed,"what anna ?….he is not "the saar"…he will be your brother in law.…after the wedding".
Her brother was visibly flustered and looked at Reddy's face again in the dim sidewalk light, and apologized. Reddy laughed and consoled him saying that he couldn't be expected to remember Reddy from the few video conferences. He came around and asked Reddy to let him push the cart with the suitcases.
Reddy said,"no..no…it is ok…you know where the taxi is...you lead…walk ahead with Shanti ….I will push this behind you two.".
Shanti agreed,"….come…anna…". Her brother wanted to call Reddy's home immediately on his "mobile", and Shanti shushed him. When they went to the taxi, a small van, it turned out to be a tight fit with Shanti in the middle of her father and Reddy on the back seat. Although both father and son were happy to see Shanti and take her home, they were quite unprepared for her bringing along her bridegroom. Reddy joked that she needed him to haul the suitcases. Father and brother of the bride couldn't show the traditional deference to a future son-in-law in a crowded taxi, especially with the daughter almost sitting on the lap of the youngman. They had a quiet ride home, brother speaking up now and then to give directions to the driver; and father nervously taking an occasional sideways glance at his child and the "stranger" she had brought home.
When they got home, Shanti's mother and sister-in-law were confused as well when an extra person got off the taxi and helped with the suitcases. Her father walked up ahead and explained to his wife that their daughter had brought along her "intended". Reddy carried the suitcases up to the 1st floor. Shanti went in first and hugged her mother. After washing her feet and face in the bathroom, Shanti diappeared into the kitchen with her mother and sister-in-law. Reddy took off his shoes and socks. His future father-in-law showed him to the bathroom. When he came out, his f-FIL gave him a dothi to wear, and left him to join the kitchen conference. Reddy wore that and took off his pants and shirt and folded them and laid them on his suitcase. Then Reddy sat on the double-sofa in the living room and stretched. Shanti's brother sat in a cane chair across from Reddy and contributed to the awkward quiet. Reddy broke the silence:"well…please go ahead and sleep….it is past 2 AM now….we will talk after sunrise…ok ?". Shanti's brother asked,"…you will be fine?….you need anything ?". Reddy smiled and anwered,"I am fine…if I need anything…I will ask your sister…please go and rest…". Shanti's brother was pleased with that considerate, unassuming behavior. He was happy for his sister. He understood why his sister could be at such ease with that man. He left Reddy on the sofa and went to his room to sleep.
After about 10 minutes, Shanti came to Reddy and gave him a glass of Bournvita and asked,"....are you doing ok ?".
Reddy said," I need to straighten out some kinks in my back...otherwise...fine". Shanti offered,"drink that…I will come back and give you a massage".
"what?…you are not serious…are you ?", asked Reddy, but Shanti had gone around the corner by then. She came back with a rolled-up mat and a pillow. Shanti, asked him to get off the sofa, moved the sofa forward a bit, and rolled out the mat on the floor behind the sofa. Reddy laid stomach down on the mat. Shanti stepped on and off his back going from his shoulders to the lower back and over his butt. "there..there...few more steps... right there...": directed Reddy and felt much better. After a few minutes, Shanti's mother came out and saw her daughter walking on her future son-in-law. She chuckled to herself, quietly slipped back into her room, and restrained her husband from coming out and interfering with the living room goings on. She was happy and assured that her child had found someone quite nice. After about half an hour, Shanti herself stretched out on the double-sofa and Reddy remained on the floor behind the sofa. They were both tired, but couldn't fall asleep. Very soon, it was sunrise and the noises of their hometown waking up filled their flat. Shanti's mother, sister-in-law and Shanti were already in the kitchen chatting and preparing coffee.
Reddy had coffee, breakfast idlies and engaged Shanti's father in small talk. After Shanti's brother left for his work, Reddy took a shower, got dressed and after talking Shanti's father out of accompanying him, took a call-taxi and went home with his suitcase. His mother and sister-in-law were at home when he arrived. They were both surprised and happy to see him. He explained how his plans had changed and he didn't want to wake-up anyone at home in the middle of the night when he arrived. Reddy's mother was astonished as to how well he had turned out from that tall, scrawny youth they sent away six years ago. He washed his feet, changed into a dothi and went to sleep. His mother came into the room now and then, during the day, and stood by his bed and enjoyed the scene of her son, healthy looking and strong, returned from America, at home in bed. In the evening he woke up after his niece came back from school. Later that evening, Shanti's father came to invite the family to come to their house the next day for dinner and the meeting of his daughter, the bride in the upcoming wedding of their home.
Between their arrival and the wedding day, Shanti was a lot busier than Reddy. She had to go to sari shop, tailor's, to invite some of the local relatives and friends in person, and to the local beauty salon. Reddy had lost connections with many in his home town, but Shanti had many school and college friends and colleagues in the college she had worked as a lecturer before she went to America. For a couple of days, Reddy accompanied her to visit many of her friends she wanted to invite to her wedding. Often, Reddy chuckled to himself at the "prize hog at the state fair" aspect of his presence, but then he relished the idea of how well he could take on and carry that role. He was rewarded in how happy Shanti looked when she introduced him to her old friends and colleagues while handing them her wedding invitation. One morning, they met at "the" bus-stand, stood back and watched girls and boys jostle in trying to get into the bus.
Their wedding was arranged at a wedding hall in a sub-division of the city. A traditional south indian wedding of the Telugu community started from the evening before the wedding day and ended the morning after the wedding day. Reddy's older brother, almost 10 years his senior, and his wife stood in when some of the ceremonies required the presence of the parents of the groom. Reddy was very compliant in carrying himself through all the required ceremonial events.
On the eve of the wedding, Reddy went to a temple nearby, got dressed in his white silk shirt and dothi, and after the requisite pujas and archanas at the temple, he made the ceremonial, processional walk to the wedding hall. That evening, he met several of the relatives of Shanti from her parents' generation and many of her cousins. Reddy talked with each of them and listened to them patiently as well as asked questions to let them know he had listened. Then there were some minor ceremonies involving the "reading of the wedding announcement" and confirming who'd marry whom, with their ancestral backgrounds and the date of the wedding. Shanti was mostly in the quarters of the bride's side and received many reports of Reddy from her cousins and other relatives who had talked to him that evening. She was very pleased with such reports of Reddy's interactions with her extended family. After several years of hard work and no social life, Reddy found himself thoroughly enjoying the socializing aspects of the wedding rituals.
On the wedding day, when Shanti was given away to Reddy, and she received the mangalsutra that he tied round her neck, she wanted to get off her father's lap and hug him. However, she restrained herself, her eyes filled with tears, as she listened to Reddy repeating the mantras after the purohit, seeking her support to him for one hundred years of married life. After the frenetic drumming required for that event quieted down, Shanti's father shook his hand, addressed him as son-in-law and congratulated him. He too seem to be shivering with an overflow of emotion. After Shanti and Reddy had thus been formally wedded, they went through the further ceremonies as couple. Then they went around and did namaskarams at the feet of select elder relatives on both sides of the family, and received the ceremonial toss of (turmeric coated) rice over their heads and blessings. This was followed by the receiving of guests. Reddy and Shanti met each of the guests who had come to their morning wedding ceremony. As Reddy expected, Shanti had a lot of guests and he had but a few. Then there was a typical south indian wedding lunch-meal served on plantain leaves. Shanti and Reddy got their first respite of a brief nap after their lunch. Then the couple had to make ceremonial grahapravesha visit to his brother's flat, and then return back to the wedding hall. In the evening they received more friends of Shanti and friends and colleagues of her brother, Reddy's brother and other guests during a reception. At that evening reception guests were served sweets, savories, coffee and soft-drinks and had a live carnatic music recital for entertainment.. For an hour or so the newlywed couple stood, dressed-up, wearing flower garlands and received guests. Then they walked around to the tables and chatted with the visitors at several tables.
After dinner, at around 9 PM, the wedding hall had only the parties of bride and groom. All were quite satiated with the celebration, socialization, noise, catching up and everything else. Reddy was sent off to the groom's quarters to get back into his dothi-shirt outfit and Shanti went to wear a new silk saree and blouse for the nuptials night. The nuptial bed chamber was decorated with jasmine flower garlands and rose petals were strewn on the bed. And the airconditioner had been on for a few hours, and there was a ceiling fan going at a slow, quiet setting. The room also had an ensuite bathroom. Reddy was asked to wait in the room. Reddy found a tray of indian sweets and a flask of warm milk on top of a dresser. After a few minutes, he heard the door open and some commotion of giggles outside the room. Shanti came in and shut and locked the door behind her. Reddy walked to the door and hugged her. She asked,"aentee...how are you doing ?..." Reddy replied,"...not too bad...I actually enjoyed the whole thing....how about you ?". "everyone in my family likes you....how did you manage that ?", she smiled. As they walked to the bed, Reddy said, "What is not to like ?….aren't I a nice fellow ?." "yes..that you are....", blushed Shanti. "come..let us go to bed...we'll have a busy morning as well..", invited Reddy. She gave him a glass of milk, drank her milk and went to the bathroom, to brush her teeth and change into a nightie. After they got into the sheets, Shanti took a deep breath to appreciate the mix of rose and jasmine in the air and said,"...some of my friends asked me if ours was an arranged marriage or a love marriage ...". "And ?"...."I gave credit to your sister for arranging the girl-dekko...and sort of implied that we were arranged...and gave you credits for asking me out on movie and dinner dates....". Reddy laughed and said,"don't you think we had one of each kind of marriage ?." Shanti kissed him and proposed,"If you asked me....I will agree to any kind of marriage with you". That night they slept like logs.
Couple of days later, Shanti took Reddy and a few others who wanted to come along to Tirupathi. Reddy had rented a microbus and arranged lodgings for the night. Shanti had promised that she'd come to Tirupathi and offer prayers for Reddy's good health (Episode 26)during the early morning hours when she was making a brunch for Reddy in her Ann Arbor apartment.
After a few more days of Chennai, movies, shopping and packing, Reddy came back to Detroit on his own. Shanti spent the remaining days at home with her parents before she too came back to her new home in the US. Their lives in the US would go through a well beaten path of the desis: graduate school, employment, USC aquisition, I-130, I-485, I-751, I-551 and quite a number of I-43's (twitter lingo for I-love-you) between them. They would wonder about R2I, would plan, suffer the n+1 syndrome, raise children in the USA and always do whatever that is right for their children...and themselves.
Synopsis:Shanti and Reddy go home to Chennai for a traditional marriage ceremony.
Munni's LIA - Episode 31
The Arranged Marriage
In late January, Reddy told his folks in Chennai that he had met Shanti and liked her. In a separate video chat, Shanti too told her parents that she'd like to marry Reddy. Then they joined together and had video chats with each household. Then everyone discussed the various scheduling issues, and agreed on a date for the wedding that was suitable. Shanti was able to get a break from school for two weeks between semesters and Reddy was able to take 10 days off from work during the same time. Reddy's older brother and Shanti's father went ahead with local preparations; they had video chats with either Shanti or Reddy every weekend to give them updates. Reddy and Shanti made travel arrangements: Shanti would travel first and Reddy would come a few days later and after the wedding they would travel back together. As the marriage date got closer, Shanti convinced Reddy to travel with her to Chennai, and if he couldn't get any more days off from work, return earlier, on his own. Eventually that is what he ended up doing.
The flight from Detroit to Frankfurt was uneventful. Shanti was tired, having run around to buy various little things that she thought her mom and new sister-in-law might like, packing suitcases and checking to make sure she had everything from the "list". She also bought several small gifts for Reddy's household and packed Reddy's suitcase. In the flight, they had an empty seat in their 3-seat row, and Shanti was able to raise the arm-rests and put her head on Reddy's lap for an extended, albeit scrunched up, slumber. She felt safe and cozy with Reddy's hand around her under the airline blanket. They skipped dinner and ate the breakfast before landing at Frankfurt. At the transit, they changed planes, and found themselves with almost a full plane of south indians going home to Chennai. Daytime flight, coupled with talkative people, made the cabin more "lively" than the first flight across the atlantic.
Shanti's brother located her and waved; she went forward to meet him.
Her brother noticed:"you look happy….but where are your bags ?".
She asked him a question in return,"amma, appa…doing well ? …and how is your new wife ?"; and handed him her shoulder bag.
"Appa is in the car …Amma is ok….new wife is good..….you will meet her soon..", her brother answered.
"Car ?" asked Shanti.
"no…no.…just a call taxi", brother corrected himself, and noticed Reddy joining up at his sister's other side.
Shanti explained,"…he is coming with us also….he will stay with us tonight".
Her brother was confused; he asked,"who is the saar ?".
Shanti laughed,"what anna ?….he is not "the saar"…he will be your brother in law.…after the wedding".
Her brother was visibly flustered and looked at Reddy's face again in the dim sidewalk light, and apologized. Reddy laughed and consoled him saying that he couldn't be expected to remember Reddy from the few video conferences. He came around and asked Reddy to let him push the cart with the suitcases.
Reddy said,"no..no…it is ok…you know where the taxi is...you lead…walk ahead with Shanti ….I will push this behind you two.".
Shanti agreed,"….come…anna…". Her brother wanted to call Reddy's home immediately on his "mobile", and Shanti shushed him. When they went to the taxi, a small van, it turned out to be a tight fit with Shanti in the middle of her father and Reddy on the back seat. Although both father and son were happy to see Shanti and take her home, they were quite unprepared for her bringing along her bridegroom. Reddy joked that she needed him to haul the suitcases. Father and brother of the bride couldn't show the traditional deference to a future son-in-law in a crowded taxi, especially with the daughter almost sitting on the lap of the youngman. They had a quiet ride home, brother speaking up now and then to give directions to the driver; and father nervously taking an occasional sideways glance at his child and the "stranger" she had brought home.
After about 10 minutes, Shanti came to Reddy and gave him a glass of Bournvita and asked,"....are you doing ok ?".
Reddy said," I need to straighten out some kinks in my back...otherwise...fine". Shanti offered,"drink that…I will come back and give you a massage".
"what?…you are not serious…are you ?", asked Reddy, but Shanti had gone around the corner by then. She came back with a rolled-up mat and a pillow. Shanti, asked him to get off the sofa, moved the sofa forward a bit, and rolled out the mat on the floor behind the sofa. Reddy laid stomach down on the mat. Shanti stepped on and off his back going from his shoulders to the lower back and over his butt. "there..there...few more steps... right there...": directed Reddy and felt much better. After a few minutes, Shanti's mother came out and saw her daughter walking on her future son-in-law. She chuckled to herself, quietly slipped back into her room, and restrained her husband from coming out and interfering with the living room goings on. She was happy and assured that her child had found someone quite nice. After about half an hour, Shanti herself stretched out on the double-sofa and Reddy remained on the floor behind the sofa. They were both tired, but couldn't fall asleep. Very soon, it was sunrise and the noises of their hometown waking up filled their flat. Shanti's mother, sister-in-law and Shanti were already in the kitchen chatting and preparing coffee.
Between their arrival and the wedding day, Shanti was a lot busier than Reddy. She had to go to sari shop, tailor's, to invite some of the local relatives and friends in person, and to the local beauty salon. Reddy had lost connections with many in his home town, but Shanti had many school and college friends and colleagues in the college she had worked as a lecturer before she went to America. For a couple of days, Reddy accompanied her to visit many of her friends she wanted to invite to her wedding. Often, Reddy chuckled to himself at the "prize hog at the state fair" aspect of his presence, but then he relished the idea of how well he could take on and carry that role. He was rewarded in how happy Shanti looked when she introduced him to her old friends and colleagues while handing them her wedding invitation. One morning, they met at "the" bus-stand, stood back and watched girls and boys jostle in trying to get into the bus.
Their wedding was arranged at a wedding hall in a sub-division of the city. A traditional south indian wedding of the Telugu community started from the evening before the wedding day and ended the morning after the wedding day. Reddy's older brother, almost 10 years his senior, and his wife stood in when some of the ceremonies required the presence of the parents of the groom. Reddy was very compliant in carrying himself through all the required ceremonial events.
On the eve of the wedding, Reddy went to a temple nearby, got dressed in his white silk shirt and dothi, and after the requisite pujas and archanas at the temple, he made the ceremonial, processional walk to the wedding hall. That evening, he met several of the relatives of Shanti from her parents' generation and many of her cousins. Reddy talked with each of them and listened to them patiently as well as asked questions to let them know he had listened. Then there were some minor ceremonies involving the "reading of the wedding announcement" and confirming who'd marry whom, with their ancestral backgrounds and the date of the wedding. Shanti was mostly in the quarters of the bride's side and received many reports of Reddy from her cousins and other relatives who had talked to him that evening. She was very pleased with such reports of Reddy's interactions with her extended family. After several years of hard work and no social life, Reddy found himself thoroughly enjoying the socializing aspects of the wedding rituals.
Couple of days later, Shanti took Reddy and a few others who wanted to come along to Tirupathi. Reddy had rented a microbus and arranged lodgings for the night. Shanti had promised that she'd come to Tirupathi and offer prayers for Reddy's good health (Episode 26)during the early morning hours when she was making a brunch for Reddy in her Ann Arbor apartment.
-----oo0
0oo-----
0oo-----
No comments:
Post a Comment